“We’re in the same boat. I understand how you feel. I can feel you."
When anything deals with someone’s life, we are facing the big huge matter. Shoes don’t reflect the ‘biggerness’ but the boat does. Analogically, boat used to sail in ocean with the monsoon, huge tide and etc. Life does so.
We always have gone through this conversation right? That's about being empathy! Yes! Not all people out there having this attitude. Be empathy in whatever conditions others may have. It can be something related to friendship, family, study, financial and relationship.
There are a few rules you need to follow to have this kind of attitude. The most important element you should have is the ability to listen. Be a good listener. Place yourself in his/her condition. Be a good listener is good enough if you can't solve their problem or you haven't go through in that situations. Believe me that your effort to hear their problem lessen their burden.
Second, no judgement and argument! Don't ever judge others. Their problem might not be the same from yours. Maybe Allah tests you on your family, she gets in trouble with her studies and he stucks in financial problem. Brother and sisters! Allah creates a variety of tests coz He knows that we have our own endurance of facing all those problem. Don't look down to others' problem. You might see others' problem smaller than yours. Have you ever think that you can coop that problem if you're being tested with the same problem? He creates different tests for us so that we can share and complement each other.
Third, let's pray for each other! Let's support each other! Never leave her/him behind. Walk by her/his side. Keep talking and spreading positive vibes.
A guy asked me these questions. Although this brother is a guy, I never underestimate him. Not ever think that he's loser as he cannot endure the obstacles. He told me that he knew that I've been in his situation. So, he needs my advice.
"Mak aku kena April 2013. Alhamdulillah getting better. Cuma continue ambil ubat".
"Kenapa concern sangat tanya pasal mak aku? Just straight to the point".
"Dr diagnose mak aku kena vascular dementia."
"Allahuakbar.." we changed our stories.
"Aku nak minta advise ko. If you don't mind to share with me."
"I'm not a doctor. What I can do is to motivate you. Ko kena kuat untuk mak ko. Banyakkan sabar. Usaha dan sangka baik dengan ujian Allah ni".
"Mula-mula aku down jugak. Tapi Alhamdulillah Allah mudahkan."
"Down boleh. Tapi jangan tunjuk depan mak ko. Aku tau ko kuat!"
A few months later...
"Dah banyak kali gi appointment Dr. Masuk ni dah 3 kali."
"Ko kena sabar dan kuat. Jangan lemah. Mak aku ulang alik hospital almost a year untuk fisio and follow up."
"Macam mana kau kuat tinggalkan mak kau jauh2. Mind to share?”. I was like what question is this? “Aku pretend aku ni kuat. Start atuk aku sakit aku balik kampong jaga mak dan atuk aku. Pas atuk meninggal, lagi berat hati aku nak tinggalkan mak. Sedih tu ada. Mana boleh tipu."
Different tests come and gone. Last few months I've been told by friend that our classmate also face the same test. Her mom has stroke. Then, undergo operation (for what reason I don't know). People said that her mom so weak due to complication. She didn't let others visit her mom at this critical stage. All we can do as her friends, praying for the best and speedy recovery for her mother.
Nobody has their own dilemmas when it comes to making decision, choosing what is the best,
"Weyh aku blur!"
"Ko dapat offer mana2 ke?"
"Aku stuck. Tak tau nak buat apa. Last week interview aku tak attend."
"Sebab mak sakit ke?"
"Aku yang berat hati. Insyallah rezki di mana2"
"Aku percaya orang yang jaga mak ayah ni Allah janjikan rezki lebih baik!"
"Doakan aku weyh."
"Allah uji sebab Dia tahu ko kuat. Aku tau susah. Aku pernah rasa. Mungkin ko lagi kuat dari aku".
We learn something from others' experience. we have no guarantee if we may go through the same experience in the future. This is learning process too. Not in class but in LIFE!
Same with me if I've problem, there's people that always support me.
A friend of mine said, "Weyh aku trauma kot buat lab work!"
"Weyh jangan down kan aku!"
"Weyh..ko boleh!! Aku sebab tak minat! Haha".
"Aku takde senior kat lab. Blur." Feeling wanna cry!!
"Ko boleh weyh.. jangan give up! Beginning is the hardest stage. Take a move!"
"Takpe nanti aku minta coursemate aku ajarkan ko. Nanti kalau ada apa2 masalah bagitau aku . Aku akan tolong kalau aku boleh tolong." said my friend
"Aku down ni."
"Please don't. Bertahan selagi mampu." said my friend.
"Akak saya tak tahu keputusan saya ni betul ke tak?". Sobs
"Just start. You will know how the journey is. Don't give up before trying!" said sister.
Obstacles and problems don't come to mess your life. They really mould you to be a better person. Remember that hardships often prepare ordinary people for extraordinary destiny. Be patient. Saidina Abu Bakr RA said, " It is difficult to be patient but to waste the rewards for patience is worse". He is one of sahabat that had been guaranteed in Jannah, also admitting that being patient is difficult. There's no such easy way to be patient. We really need inner strength. And we can only get the strength when we have faith. Faith is the root of all solutions to our problems. Having faith and belief to seek a shelter and help from Allah. There's no way to have these three elements without prayers and dua's, tools for us to communicate with Him.
Hardships also make us closer to Allah. Don't be away from Allah in ease and hard times. Get closer. Pray harder. We may get upset if our life doesn't go as planned. Believe me that Allah is the best planner. Never giving up to life. There are a lot of people out there facing more and harder tests than us.
Faith. Strength. Patience. Do practice this formula in LIFE. Insyallah, everything's gonna be fine.
Thanks for reading this entry! Till we meet again, Insyallah!